Thursday, June 24, 2010

Older Child Adoption

First, I know that I've been very delinquent even for an 'occassional' blogger.  As you can tell by the 'adoption timeline' on my blog, it hasn't been like nothing is happening.  I guess the biggest news we've had is obtaining a copy of H's baptismal certificate that gives us a birthdate making H just over 12 years old.

12 years old.  I have to admit that is a couple of years older than we hoped, 2 years older than we said we'd ever adopt, and would make H a 7th grader by age.

But....when we heard the news, I also have to admit that I wasn't too bothered by it.  I wasn't that suprised. I wasn't disappointed.  I also would have fought the idea of adopting H if we'd known this before.  I'm not sure why it would have made a difference before, but not now.  Maybe its because we'd already committed to her no matter what challenges lay ahead and this is just the first of what will probablly be many unexpected occurrences. 

It is interesting that my biggest concern regarding her age is not that she is going to be about 6 months shy of her 13th birthday by the time she moves into our home, or the fact that we've adopted out of birth order (H is almost exactly in between Sarah and Hailey as far as age goes).  My biggest concern is that she should be in 7th grade by her birthday.  If I hold her back to 5th, that will make her 16 her 8th grade year and 20 when she graduates high school.  If I put her in middle school, I"m afraid that she will have a difficult time not only with academics because she needs to catch up, but also that the social drama of the american preteen is enough to drive anyone to madness!  At least keeping her in 5th grade will afford her an ally to help nevigate the system---Hailey.  Of course placing a 12 year old in the same grade as her 10 year old 'little' sister has its own set of challenges. 

I'm telling myself that there are so many other more important issues (which I wholeheartedly believe there will be) related to leaving her home country and her friends and everthing she knows.  I guess that I'm just thinking about the age thing a bunch because it is information that we have that is concrete and can mull around in my brain . Right now, we know so little about H's past, I can only speculate about everything else.

I have to admit, God has certainly led us in a different direction that we thought we would go.  We planned going into this to bring a young boy--preferably aged 4-6 (but NO older than 10) into our lives.  Instead we have a beautiful daughter named H that was born 12 years ago.  And we can't wait to meet her!

Now...as far as other updates....
Our case was submitted to court June 14th.
Our agency is checking in to whether or not we can go ahead and travel to Ethiopia for the first court date or VERY shortly there after to meet H so maybe we can get through court before the rainy season forces the court closed until September.  If we can get through court by August, then we may be able to have H home as early as September of October.....so pray away that this happens!