Time Control

Have you ever noticed that when you are having a great time, TIME goes by very quickly.  When you are sad, angry, sick, tired, WAITING....well, the time space continuum changes and time begins to move by slowly--I'm sure its got to have something to do with parallel universe theory and plasma physics.  You've had the experience.  Think about how fast a great weekend speeds by contrasted with standing in the ONE check out line open in WalMart at 9 at night buying tylenol for a sick kid...maybe stopped in the midst of traffic when you are trying to get somewhere and you're already 30 minutes late.....waiting for those little pieces of paper to come in the mail so that your homestudy packet will be complete and can be put back in the mail to the agency so you can WAIT for your homestudy appointment and then WAIT for the report, then WAIT for whatever comes next.

I guess when you get started with all the adoption stuff, you know you'll have to wait.  You know that it takes time to get a referral, that it takes time to get your paperwork in, that it takes time to get things in order so you can travel to meet you new child.  I really feel like time has started to move slower than I ever thought possible before we started this process.  At least it is moving slower, EARLIER than I ever thought it would.  I expected waiting pains once we had our referral and knew the name of our child.  I didn't expect that the waiting pains would come so soon, I think it has to do with KNOWING that we have a son or daughter that we will be meeting in a few months.  I think it has to do with WONDERING who that little boy or girl is and where they are sleeping tonite.  I think it has to do with needing CONTROL, something I shouldn't want nor have any business looking for.

TIME is such a pesky little creature for the main reason that we can't CONTROL it.  IT passes whether we want it to or not, and despite our perceptions, moves along at a steady rate. So what can we do?  Well....

I for one am going to keep reminding myself that I am NOT in CONTROL of TIME or this ADOPTION process.  I am going to remind myself that I do NOT WANT to be in CONTROL.  I am going to tell myself that GOD is in CONTROL and that I want him to be.  HE knows my son or daughter and has since before TIME existed.  HE has led me THIS far at THIS time, HE will make sure I get to where I need to be WHEN I need to be there.  GOD will have the patience to lead me through HIS plan, even if that means I have to give up CONTROL (kicking and screaming as time goes by too slow for my taste).

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven"

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

"O LORD, you are my God;

I will exalt you and praise your name,

for in perfect faithfulness

you have done marvelous things,

things planned long ago."

Isiah 25:1

 

 God's plan is WAY better than mine could ever be.  I suppose since he designed the whole TIME thing--- I guess his TIMEline is better than mine too.  So, now we are in the season of WAITING.  I have a feeling it might be a long one (anything slower than 45 minutes would be too long in my book).  But in the end....our seasons here on earthare limited so I suppose we should enjoy TIME as it flies and TIME as it crawls.  I wonder what our wait on Earth will feel like when we wake up one day to all ETERNITY ahead of us?

Excuses

I have been following Chrissy's Blog for several weeks (they are waiting on 3 little ones from Ethiopia).  Today, she copied a post from Amy's Blog that I think sums up what not only goes through our mind when we are faced with making a life changing decision, but also what really should be in our heart.  It certainly hits on most of the excuses that have gone through my head quite often.

I've had my share of excuses in the past....

Too busy

Not enough money

Not enough time

Too young

Too old

Can't afford it

Already have 4 children

Not sure if it's God's will

Not sure

Can't afford it

What will others say?

What will others think?

People will think we are crazy

What if they are right?

Can't afford it.

What if it's hard on our other kids?

It's not the right time

Not sure if I would be good at it.

House is too small.

Can't afford it.

Not sure if I want to start all over again.

What would we drive?

What if it's to much work?

What if it's too hard?

Can't afford it.

Yet for every excuse God has the answer-

Him.

It's all about Him- period.

He must increase,

but I must decrease.

John 3:30

We limit God with our excuses.

We limit God with our fears.

We limit God by putting Him inside a box-

A box we have designed on our own.

But by doing this we are actually robbing ourselves-

robbing ourselves of the blessings.

Robbing ourselves of true joy

Robbing ourselves of truly living.

Because you see when we take 'us' out of the picture

Our worries,

Our fears,

Our excuses,

And we put God in the center of our lives

The possibilities are endless.

He has the way...

He IS the way...

And all you have to do is

stop making excuses and take that first step.

Stop listening to the world.

Stop being afraid of the what ifs-

And listen to the one who knows.

The one who has the answers.

The one who really matters.

The truth is

we don't have to be perfect

because He is.

We don't have to have all of the answers

because He already does.

We don't have to know how

because He will show us.

Each day you wait

is a day that they wait too...

The cost of your excuse is a lot higher than the cost of an adoption

because look at what it's costing them.

Stop making excuses.

They are waiting

And so is He...

To show you the way.

"Fun"raisor supporting Haiti and Congo

Yes, cheesy title, but GREAT cause with a chance to win a week's stay in Florida.  Just hope on over to THIS blog and check out the details!

Basketball

Basketball....I know nothing about it other than the main objective is for your team to get an orange ball into your team's assigned basket as frequently as possible and more times than your opponent does.  I suppose I also know that there are a lot of rules related to how one's team should and should not go about doing this, but I don't really know the ins and outs.  While I'm not opposed to basketball or have any moral issues with the game, it is just not a sport I ever bothered learning anything about.  Until now....well, I really don't know much about it, but am in process of learning...since....Sarah decided to try out for the team this year.

If you didn't know that Sarah was a basketball fan, you are not alone. Apparently, Sarah didn't know she enjoyed basketball until she was asked to try out for the team by a friend (who didn't want to try out alone).  Well, you guessed it.  She made the first cut, then the second cut....then earned a place on the Seabrook Spartans Girls Basketball Team!!  YEAH SARAH!  They've only played a couple of games and are in the midst of thier first tournament this year (I'm at home on break typing this up). 

I've attached a video of Sarah playing in the game. She's in the white jersey, number 20. Its from my phone so its hard to follow her....but when you see someone with a white jersey making a basket a good distance away from the said basket (in my opinion)..Yup..that's Sarah!




By the way....all those other "Sarah's Basketball Game" YouTube videos that come up at the end of this one....belong to someone else's Sarah.

Not Me Monday

Yes, I'm getting in on the fun. Yes, I do follow MckMama's blog.....what can I say.

So, I certainly did NOT offer to 'have dinner' for my church small group tonite with the express purpose of getting rid of several days of leftovers due to my 'experiments' with my new CrockPot!

Of course I did not give in to the plea for breakfast from Whataburger from my 10 year old just to give myself an excuse to purchase, and eat, one honey buttered chicken biscuit.  And of course I did in no way, shape, or form also eat the hash brown sticks that came with 'the meal' that seemed cheaper to order than just the coffee and sandwich.

Lastly, I did not call my husband two times this morning with the express purpose of finding out if he signed all our adoption paperwork before he left work so I wouldn't have to wait ONE MORE DAY to get it in the mail.

Nope, not me :)

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds

So this morning I stayed up late after getting in from work to go here:

So that I could mail this......

Yup, the adoption has reached its 2nd level of official-ness.....the initial application has been completed and mailed.

Money, Money, Money

Do you realize that it is SO much cheaper to give birth to a child than to adopt one? (well, for those with insurance anyway). I've decided that I am going to lobby my employer to increase adoption benefits and I think Tony should do the same. Both of our insurances now cover infertility treatments (10k for my company and 15k for Tony's) but only reimburse 3k and 4k respectively for adoption---and adoption is typically a sure thing--especially for the company because they only reimburse adoption after the adoption is final. Don't get me wrong, I think infertility benefits should be covered and at a higher rate than what they are, but I also think that adoption can be just as or sometimes more expensive than infertility treatments so I really feel like that should be reimbursed at least equally--maybe a lifetime maximum of 10K for adoption like you have the lifetime maximum of 10k for infertility treatment. I need to figure out who I can write a letter to at my employer.....

So, on with the saga of trying to figure out how to pay for this. Ultimately, even with reimbursement as it is now (3k for me, 4k for Tony and 12k tax break), we should only have to come up with about 6k out of pocket. Not too bad. The girls are all on board with saving money, especially Sarah who declines stops at McDonalds for breakfast and Sonic for drinks so that 'we can save more money.' Our plan is to tremendously cut back on dining out (our biggest vice) so that we can save a few hundred a month to put towards our expenses. Yes, you read right, a few hundred, I am very ashamed to admit that we had gotten so busy and lazy that we were often eating out a couple of times a week plus a few fast food stops. We went all of Nov with only one dining out adventure (after the girls swim meet). We also only went out maybe 2x in Dec. So we know it can be done, and we ended up being pretty happy with eating home everynight. You know you've been dining out too much when you offer the kids McDonalds and all they want to do is go home and have soup and a sandwich. Right now cooking at home is easy but when Sarah starts swimming again in a few weeks (insert 3-4 days/week of afternoon practice) the whole cooking at home thing will certainly get tougher...of course I am now armed with a new appliance, a beautiful 5.5qt Crock-Pot complete with built in timer and a new cookbook!! (This is in addition to a small 1.5qt and 4qt cooker that has been serving us well the past few months.) Thanks Mom and Dad! So right now we are fine tuning recipees to figure out how long they need to cook so I can figure out what I can put in there in the morning, cook while working, and eat in the evening -- without setting off the smoke alarm or catching my kitchen on fire!

As far as where the cash will come from to finance the adoption -- I've been looking into different options.  We can always take a loan out from Tony's 401k, at least there we are paying ourselves interest for using our own money, but it also stops growing too so if the market suddenly skyrockets (yea, stop laughing) we would miss growth.  Also, if something happened to Tony's job (unlikely-yes) but we'd be hit with really outrageous taxes.  Too, when we need access to the bulk of the money is somewhat up in the air, but when we need it we will need it quickly, so I also hate to draw the cash out and just have it sitting there while we pay interest on it. 

I've also been looking into a line of credit with Navy Federal Credit Union (any armed services member is eligible to open an account there).  In that case we can apply for a 15k line of credit that we can access with checks and/or a debit card and just remove money (and pay interest on) what we are using.  It also solves the problem of keeping everything we spend on the adoption separate since that will be from its own account.  It is a little less than we were anticipating needing, but it will cover pretty much everything up to the travel point and that probablly won't come for at least 9-12 months (early time frame) so we would be saving up cash during this time.  We're still thinking and looking at all our options.

We could save travel money by just the two of us going, but we feel that it is extremely important that we take both Sarah and Hailey with us since they are old enough to understand. We also feel that since the trip will probablly cost us around 10k for four of us traveling there and 5 back, we should spend a few extra days (in light of the fact that airfare is going to be the most expensive expense). We're hoping to spend 10-14 days in country instead of just the required 4 days for the adoption.

So, as that old ABBA song goes....Money, Money, Money.