Monday, February 8, 2010

Time Control

Have you ever noticed that when you are having a great time, TIME goes by very quickly.  When you are sad, angry, sick, tired, WAITING....well, the time space continuum changes and time begins to move by slowly--I'm sure its got to have something to do with parallel universe theory and plasma physics.  You've had the experience.  Think about how fast a great weekend speeds by contrasted with standing in the ONE check out line open in WalMart at 9 at night buying tylenol for a sick kid...maybe stopped in the midst of traffic when you are trying to get somewhere and you're already 30 minutes late.....waiting for those little pieces of paper to come in the mail so that your homestudy packet will be complete and can be put back in the mail to the agency so you can WAIT for your homestudy appointment and then WAIT for the report, then WAIT for whatever comes next.

I guess when you get started with all the adoption stuff, you know you'll have to wait.  You know that it takes time to get a referral, that it takes time to get your paperwork in, that it takes time to get things in order so you can travel to meet you new child.  I really feel like time has started to move slower than I ever thought possible before we started this process.  At least it is moving slower, EARLIER than I ever thought it would.  I expected waiting pains once we had our referral and knew the name of our child.  I didn't expect that the waiting pains would come so soon, I think it has to do with KNOWING that we have a son or daughter that we will be meeting in a few months.  I think it has to do with WONDERING who that little boy or girl is and where they are sleeping tonite.  I think it has to do with needing CONTROL, something I shouldn't want nor have any business looking for.

TIME is such a pesky little creature for the main reason that we can't CONTROL it.  IT passes whether we want it to or not, and despite our perceptions, moves along at a steady rate. So what can we do?  Well....

I for one am going to keep reminding myself that I am NOT in CONTROL of TIME or this ADOPTION process.  I am going to remind myself that I do NOT WANT to be in CONTROL.  I am going to tell myself that GOD is in CONTROL and that I want him to be.  HE knows my son or daughter and has since before TIME existed.  HE has led me THIS far at THIS time, HE will make sure I get to where I need to be WHEN I need to be there.  GOD will have the patience to lead me through HIS plan, even if that means I have to give up CONTROL (kicking and screaming as time goes by too slow for my taste).

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven"
Ecclesiastes 3:1
 
"O LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago."
Isiah 25:1
 
 God's plan is WAY better than mine could ever be.  I suppose since he designed the whole TIME thing--- I guess his TIMEline is better than mine too.  So, now we are in the season of WAITING.  I have a feeling it might be a long one (anything slower than 45 minutes would be too long in my book).  But in the end....our seasons here on earthare limited so I suppose we should enjoy TIME as it flies and TIME as it crawls.  I wonder what our wait on Earth will feel like when we wake up one day to all ETERNITY ahead of us?

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